You are hereThis Just In: People are butthurt about Critical Mass, News at 5
This Just In: People are butthurt about Critical Mass, News at 5
Update: Who the hell flagged that shit and had it deleted? C'mon now, if the original post says let the responses stay too. Censorship is fucked.
My friend Jessica just pointed out a Craigslist posting about my earlier Critical Mass posting, and I thought it was entertaining. Check out what they have to say:
Reply to: sale-7fwjz-1240591245@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-06-26, 10:46AM CDTSince when did critical mass become the property/marketing tool of atxbs/biketakeover? Using the long standing CM to promote your bike urls/ideas goes against everything CM has stood for... like when you folks steer the ride to end up at Treasure City... which is directly tied to the biketakeover people. Have some class... take your url's off the CM flyer, even if you made the flyer... and let the masses determine the final outcome of the ride.
Critical Mass is my property/marketing tool? Really? Since when? P.S. Many of you don't know this, but I make MAD AMOUNTS OF CHEDDAR* off the bike scene in Austin. I'm talking SO MUCH MONEY I CAN'T EVEN FOLD IT**. In fact it's so easy to fleece cyclists by utilizing a bunch of flyers and a crappy web log, I suggest y'all do the same***.
Second up (and posted just seconds ago) is a more typical complaint, though unlike the typical rants it's actually worded well and somewhat witty. Boo-ya:
RE: Critical Mass (IDIOTS!!!) (Downtown)
Reply to: sale-jx9bx-1240899533@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-26, 12:28PM CDTI am an avid cyclist that has lived in the Austin area for four years. I LOVE the sport and want it to succeed.
Unfortunately, while downtown at night I will sometimes stumble into what's possibly the largest gathering of cycling douchbags ever conceived. I'm sure many of you are not familiar with the group, so let me help to fill in some of the blanks.
What is Critical Mass?
Imagine the bad ass motorcycle biker gang of Hell's Angels. Now imagine them without engines, and riding girlie colored bicycles. Subtract about 70 pounds of muscle. Now go ahead and put some trendy emo glasses on that figure, maybe a leather bracelet or two, and then mount them on a fixed gear bike. Add a vagina where their balls should be, and wrap them in skinny girl's pants. I think you're getting the picture.
Now imagine that instead of having goals to pillage and rape communities, enact chaos, and in general be a bad ass, that the gang's goal is instead to enrage motorists, violate traffic laws, and pretend like cars don't exist. Pretty hardcore huh?I can imagine a pre-riding meetup session goes something like this:
Mr. Tool: "Hey everyone, I'm your local critical mass leader, Mr. Tool. I'm curious if any of my devoted members have some great ideas on what we can do tonight?"
Poser Cyclist 1: "I think I have a great idea... Let's all 100 of us go to downtown, which is already full of drunk drivers, police, and is generally a clusterf#$k, and see if we can cause some Mayhem."
Mr. Tool: : "Excellent idea, Mr. PC1, but I think we can get a little more creative. What else can we do?"
Poser Cyclist 2: "I know! I Know! Maybe we can see how many traffic laws we can break, how many wrecks we can cause, and how many pedestrians we can anger tonight! If we're lucky, a couple of us can get hit by cars and die as martyrs for our cause"
Mr. Tool: "Great idea Mr. PC2! Now we can really have some fun. Team Douche, form on me.... It's RIDE time!"I've seen these guys cause several wrecks by blowing through red lights 50 at a time. I've even seen one guy get hit by a taxi cab which normally would be extremely upsetting to me, but I couldn't even feel sorry for the poor bastard because he did it to himself. I know this group originally started with somewhat decent intentions, but now they're simply out of hand, annoying, and are making a bad name for the people that enjoy the sport. Most of us like to actually ride bikes. These people just like to piss off others.
One of the original members of critical mass WILL NOT EVEN RIDE with these tools anymore because of how confrontational they are with motorists. Don't believe me? Read this:
http://bicycleaustin.info/newsletter/2001-10-31.html#twoGo ahead and join Critical Mass, just don't be surprised if you end up like the guys in the picture below.
This is more of the argument I always expect to see. This one comes from a cyclist who seems to have some kind of issue with his masculinity, or maybe with gender identity in general, because he continues to drivel on about how "girlie" the riders' bikes and pants are, with a "vagina where their balls should be". An entertaining read, and an accurate depiction of a typical critical mass scene, for sure****. Excellent stuff, y'all, keep it up! BTW if all you complainers could mention that it starts at 5pm on the UT West Mall, I'd really appreciate it. See y'all this afternoon!
* This statement is a lie.
** This statement is also a lie.
*** I do not advocate this behavior.
**** More bold-faced lies.
the wrong idea is to stereotype groups of people together. It's not about the "douchebag" who rides a $4000 bike (let me have my fun when I want), the hipster "poser" who rides around on his/her fixie (let the people commute, what are you doing about the record highs in June this year?), or the bastard in the car who pollutes by driving (sometimes it just makes sense). It's about enjoying your time on your bike, and letting those who choose to exercise or commute on their bikes enjoy theirs as well, while not trying to provoke death from car (what a shit-tastic way to get on the disabled list). I think courtesy is what's lacking from all groups. We're all in it together, people. I'm pissed off when some asshole buzzes me in a car while I'm commuting on fixie, or going for a ride on my machine; I'm equally pissed when there's some asshole tooling along on bike-laneless Lamar when I'm driving (there are safer alternate routes that won't add mileage, and will increase likelyhood of making it to your destination in one piece). Everyone works shitty jobs with shitty hours, and stress does not go away if you assert your place on the road. "Share the Road" is a motto everyone should live by, regardless of how you get around. "Sport." It's about more then that, you asshole. We should all be interested in making life easier for everyone, and take a turn helping out the local (and worldwide) cycling community through advocacy. Know your rights, but don't be stupid about them. Exercise them in a way that won't harm you, because you aren't doing a damn thing for anyone if you're dead.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wb8bAl1P-N0/SkS628kLlBI/AAAAAAAAIPM/HpSw2gAv-9...
... and really, riding Lamar often makes sense, even when there's roads just a few blocks over with less traffic.
(But other than that, don't really disagree ...)
There are exceptions to every rule, and I agree, sometimes it does make sense. If that happens though, you can bet I'll be pedaling like I've got the fire under me. I refer to the people who make the right off of Sixth onto Lamar, and then ride in the lane about 7 mph without a helmet (at night).
Anyone who sees cycling as just a sport has missed the point of replacing cars.
And probably wouldn't understand cm.
I wasn't gonna ride today but if I can piss off some "large-pussy" on craigslist I can't pass that up ...Do what thy will shall be the whole of the law and fuck that cry baby yo...WILLIAM KERN
Hurt Feelings Report
http://tinyurl.com/lkzr8o
It's just venting from some dude with insecurities about his manhood, pay it no mind. But I do think it's odd that this self proclaimed 'avid cyclist' who's lived in the Austin area for a few years somehow feels the need to point out how much better critical mass was several years ago. Why would I want to read the Car-Free Austin newsletter from October of 2001, especially when it's written by some dude who pines over how much better CM was in 1996... give me a break, life goes on.
Michael Bluejay (the person in question) is still active in the cycling community, I've seen him on a couple rides recently, and out at some of the political events. There are quite a few of the original riders who don't participate for similar reasons, and to a point I agree with them. The utopian ideal that is a perfect Critical Mass ride will never be attained, no matter how much we strive for it. Since ANYONE can ride we'll always have bad apples in the barrel, people whose sole purpose for riding is to throw a big FUCK YOU in the face of rush hour car traffic. There are quite a few cyclists around town that I respect (Fred Meredith, Tommy Eden, Michael Bluejay, to mention a few) who used to ride but don't anymore. That doesn't make them wrong and us right, it's just a difference of opinion.
Now to all y'all who come for this reason, no, FUCK YOU. You're making shit hard for all of us, an that's a pretty fucking dick move. If you want to fuck with cars, get your shit together and do it on your lonesome, the way you should. Don't let the group bear the brunt of the cars and cops aggression due to your issues. Asshole.
I have a hard time making Mass because of the bad apples.
I know it's throwing the baby out with the bath water, but that's the way I feel. A better approach, I guess, would be to invite as many of my cool friends to Mass and try to change the face of the event like that.
Thursday nights are becoming my nights to make a statement to motorists in a way that makes more sense to me.
hmmm... what about the fact that the last few critical masses have purposefully avoided downtown until later because we want to stay out of the 5'oclock traffic?
regardless of that, however, i will and still do agree that people need to be less aggressive in their interactions with cars- i get tired of seeing people antagonize a car that has not done anything simply because it's a car. it's kind of like how people on bikes get fucked with just because they are on a bike....
-TLA
I completely agree about the interactions with cars. I've chilled out considerably over the past few years, and guess what, cars have been nicer to me! I think that goes for the mass as well as the individual. We behave nicer to cars, they don't call the cops on us and start shit. Respect has to be a two-way street, and we have to respect them for them to extend us the same courtesy.
You're good people Nikol. I'm glad you're on the rides.
This was most likely written by one of those 'strap on your spandex shorts, unisex racing cycling jersey, and energy gel belt, and hop on your $4000 bike to go ride around the downtown streets after work douchebags'...