Sunday Morning (fixed?) RIDE! - Open to ALL. Including douchebags.

Harry just sent me the latest installment in the epic saga that is the Sunday Morning RIDE. As usual they kick off at 8:20AM this Sunday morning from Posse East. Read on for more info:

COMMENTARY AND YET ANOTHER INVITATION

Last week’s ride was another good one. Good riders, including the return of Amy and her immaculate Bianchi. (Amy, your Bianchi is perfect just like it is.) Good route, west to Lake Austin and down Scenic Dr, then east across downtown and out to a short loop near Decker Lake. The Scenic Dr leg is particularly nice – lots of shade and rich peoples’ houses. The run down Old Manor Rd on the east side is also pretty sweet – downright rural.

Sad to announce that last week was Mimi’s final ride with us. She’s leaving for an extended stay in Beijing. We’ll miss you, Mimi. Don’t forget to write.

The post of our ride announcement on CL continues to draw intelligent, incisive and informative comments. Consider this response to last week’s announcement, complements of rawdax@gmail.com.

“You forgot to take into account the possibility that the tri riders and your fixie group are all douches. Sounds like a definite possibility to me!”

Just by way of comment, Rawdax, sending an anonymous e-mail signed with a goofy online handle doesn’t exactly pump up your credibility like a Keirin sew-up. At least He Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned had the huevos to sign his comments with his real name. (Ooh. I just had a flash. Maybe that wasn’t his real name. Maybe that was his goofy online handle.) But enough about tellin’ you this.

As I’ve made very clear previously, the Sunday morning ride is all about diversity, not only in cycles but in cyclists as well. The thought of willful discrimination against unknowledgable, incompetent, unhip cyclists in our enlightened society is unacceptable. So in the continuing quest to make the world a perfect place, it’s time to invite all you losers to join this week’s edition of the Sunday morning ride, the Ride o’ Douches. It’s high time that cyclistically dysfunctional people had their own ride! And if you’re a hip, authentic, non-poser cyclist, don’t despair. Drop Rawdax a line. I’m sure his regular ride caters exclusively to your kind.

The Ride o’ Douches will roll, as ever, from Posse East at 8:20 on Sunday morning. Route has yet to be determined. Bring some ideas.

Those of you who have ridden with us before know how we roll. For those who haven’t, please read the blah-blah below. It’s important. Really.

• Some of us are down with the fixed gear deal, but mostly we’re just about riding. Bring whatcha got and ride with us.

• Every cyclist is responsible for his or her own safety and well-being. We assume that everyone is familiar with basic rules of cycling safety and has enough hours in the saddle to feel comfortable with his or her ride. Use of helmets is optional (but highly recommended). Use of headphones, earbuds, Blue Tooth headsets or any other form of electronic distraction is discouraged. (It’s a SOCIAL ride, dammit!) All traffic laws and rules of right-of-way will be observed. Here’s the deal:

SAFETY FIRST!!!!!

If someone gets killed, it ruins the ride for everybody.

• This ride is 25-30 miles long through mostly urban and suburban areas. There will be ample opportunities to refill liquids and obtain calories.

• IT’S HOT OUT THERE!!!!! Bring a water bottle. Bring two water bottles.

• There is no SAG support on this ride. Bring a spare tube and something that will inflate it.

• The purpose of this ride is for everyone to have a good time and (we hope) to become better cyclists. We ride at a social pace, and all skill levels are welcome. This is a 25-30 mile ride over flat to moderately-rolling terrain. If this is consistent with your riding experience, or is perhaps slightly more challenging than what you’re accustomed to, you should have no problem going the distance.

Oh, one more thing, Rawdax. The invite was completely serious. If you’re man enough to risk taking a hit to your delusion of superiority, come on out and ride with us. If we are douches, you’ll have the smug satisfaction of knowing you were right. If we’re not douches, you’ll enjoy a good ride and meet some new people. How can you lose?

That goes for all you other douches, too. Come on out and ride.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. That's awesome.