September 2009 Critical Mass recap, the first: The ride, and the response.

First off, THIS MONTH'S CRITICAL MASS WAS AWESOME! I had a BLAST! Even in me less than 100% condition (I had some awesome surgery on Tuesday) I managed to hang with the very nicely paced ride. Overall I heard we covered between 20-23 miles from Campus to the party spot in north-central Austin, and though we lost a good bit of our number over the course of the ride, the mass remained strong and consistently together, waiting when things got broken up and not raising the ire of the numerous cops we encountered. WAY TO FUCKING DO IT Y'ALL! Unfortunately it was not completely without incident, as a friend of mine was struck by a car while trying to motion to the car to slow down and not drive so aggressively. He was ok and continued through the rest of the ride, and on to the slamming after party at the end. More on the party in another post, because this one's already gonna be ridiculous enough. Otherwise, there were a couple crashes but I think everyone was able to get up, brush off, tweak shit into place and continue on the ride. I even saw a tall bike go down, but Boone was quick to right things and speed to the front.

Though he didn't catch the beginning of the ride, Doug found us cruising through the downtown area, joined in and hung to the end, capturing nearly three hundred photos in the process. You really should check out his pics to see a true tour of Austin, as in 3 1/2 hours of riding we ranged south, west, east AND north, in that order. Like I said, estimates on ride distance are about twenty three miles, of which the coolest 9-year old I've ever met covered them all. Seriously though, this kids got some help, what with a badass dad who takes you to bike rides AND keggers.

If you're on the facebooks, Ken Mitchell added his gallery of ride and party photos earlier today, including some great shots of the fire dancers. Yes, fire dancers. Read the next post for the skinny on what you missed if you weren't there. Update: Non-facebook users can go here to see Ken's pics.

Rob, one of the local old-school cruiser (SIIIIICK!) riders also posted a gallery of pics from the ride and the after party on his Flickr page. He's also got some pics from Thursday's Social Ride which I missed due to fevered madness. So fucking bummed I wasn't around for this.

Anyone else have pictures? If so let me know about them and I'll post up some links.

Update: Trent, blogger and student reporter, posted his photos of the ride to a flickr gallery yesterday evening, including this excellent pic:

Coolest kid in the mass

Now as usual not everything was smooth as buttah. Some noses got tweaked, especially when aggressive cars were met with cyclists who weren't budging. Since about 45 minutes after the start of the ride, the Craigslist Rants and Raves section has been abuzz with posters mentioning Critical Mass in one way or another, as well as a rather entertaining "ride call" for the drivers of Austin.

The first post showed up yesterday, probably immediately after the incident. Speaking of the incident, it was something I'd heard about on the ride, though the poster doesn't mention that at one point they STRUCK A CYCLIST, causing the anger. Way to go driver, why not bring that up too:

Criticle Mass Bikers...today (Barton Springs)
Date: 2009-09-25, 6:41PM CDT

I have always been in support of Austin Cyclists, especially the ones that follow the law. These Critical Mass people who think they are drawing cause to the people that have been run over is totally off base! As I was in the middle of Lamar and Barton Springs 5:30 here come 100-200 bikers blocking the lane. They were riding in both lanes Barton spring not letting anyone by, hence making people late for appts and family. I told one of them they can ride on one side of Barton Springs and I'll continue on the other. This caused many rants and one guy actually came up and dented my car. I've got his number though, he's not too smart. Took a pic and the officer that I talked was known by name. So... he'll have a hefty dent to fix.
I understand and support you guys purpose but how is breaking the law by riding in two lane and running through red lights going to benefit your cause. If someone can explain that to me without being childish it would be appreciated.
Don't you think this has gotten a little redic? It's like you're daring someone in a car to hit you and then you can have the city's pity - poor poor biker. And the guy on the red bike, maroon back pack - can't remember what the cop said you're name is.... you were awful tough, going whip someone's ass with a gang of bikers but let's see how you puss down when the cops show up.
This has gone past Keep Austin Weird and focus on the cyclists who lost their lives - I'm betting not one of those would agree with your tactics.
My respect goes out to all the cyclist that follow the law of the road.

The second post, also showed up yesterday, and actually has (in my opinion) a valid point if you look beyond the cliches:

Critical Massholes
Date: 2009-09-25, 11:35PM CDT

Totally agree with every critical mass post on here thus far. I'm a pretty conscious driver when it comes to bikes and the like. I have lots of friends that get around on bikes and I respect them for their choice hence my courtesy to other bicyclists. However, the Critical Mass "protest" this afternoon was such an egregious display of how not to conduct yourself on a bike. I had the unpleasant experience of almost hitting two of the "massers" as they were weaving in and out of traffic. I understand trying to make a social statement about something you believe in but it appeared a tad extreme today. No different than a participant in any form of radical belief system infringing on the rights of others.

My least favorite part of Critical Mass is when we come up to a bunch of cars and "filter" through them. Skittish drivers surrounded by a few hundred cyclists, many inexperienced, and eventually someone's getting hit, a mirror gets clipped, and tempers flare. We all know what happens when people get pissed off and start shouting at each other. Bad stuff.

Another member of Austin's famously tolerant community posted this winner earlier in the afternoon:

Re:Criticle Mass Bikers...today (Barton Springs)
Date: 2009-09-26, 1:33PM CDT

I'm pretty sick of the douchebag CYCLISTS (not bikers, us motorcycle riders are BIKERS) holding up traffic so that I get stopped at a red light, then mr. fucktard cyclist in his spandex thinking he looks cool just goes right thru it. If you wanna ride on the streets fine, but obey the traffic laws, then maybe so many of you won't get hit by cars. Also, if they are going to ride on the streets, they should have to pay taxes for to do so, just like the taxes included in our registration costs that we pay every year.
AND LOOK BEFORE YOU CHANGE LANES because I don't want you attached to my truck bumper!

Ah the old-time tax argument. Believe me, I own a home, I drive a car, AND I buy locally. I know about taxes. And "us motorcycle riders are bikers"?!? I believe the correct term for y'all is MOTORIST or even CYCLIST if you like, as you ride a MOTORCYCLE. Since we ride BICYCLES, feel free to call us either BIKERS or CYCLISTS. Make sense?

A few hours later the fourth post showed up, which contains something that should be a somewhat valid concern of ours:

Critical Mass Assholes!
Date: 2009-09-26, 5:22PM CDT

This is where everyone needs to tell the police to stop the insanity of the these overly aggressive, confrontational (maybe not all!) READ the bottom paragraph from their founder.
Last Friday of every month at 5:00pm
Meet at the UT West Mall
(Guadalupe between 22nd & 23rd)

NOTE: Your friendly webmaster stopped riding Austin CM regularly in 2000 since many of the riders had become too confrontational for his tastes. The ride continues, and this page is here as a reminder of the way things used to be. You can also read our commentary on how the Austin CM ride has changed.

Remember the last friday of October to report this activity - there are better ways to get the message across!!!!!!!

The "founder" he's quoting is Michael Bluejay, from his Austin Critical Mass page. This page is a rather interesting artifact of Austin's earlier Critical Mass days. If you haven't checked it out, you should do so if for no other reason than to see what riders went through during the original cop crackdowns of 1993-94. Pretty crazy stuff, though at least some things are still the same, like the West Mall gathering spot, the inclusion of tall bikes, and regular stops at the capital.

Next up is a post from a driver who talks about how "scary" we were en masse, thinking we're "badasses", wondering why the APD doesn't do something, and even likening us to a terrorist organization, wishing confinement in "Gitmo" on us. At least he mentions Lance, hitting on all the finest anti-cyclist cliches:

re: Critical Mass (Viva La Lance?)
Date: 2009-09-26, 6:03PM CDT

The Critical Mass type activists are kind of scary. There really isn't much they won't do, to pound it home to everyone they interact with, that they are badasses that are willing to break the law to get what they want. In that respect, they're no different that gang bangers. I've heard in San Francisco they stopped a car and beat up the Male-female couple inside it because they honked their horn. I don't understand why the APD doesn't do anything. If a car driver or a pedestrian did these things they'd be in jail, or ticketed at least. And then when I read the Critical Mass people are tied into the Earth Liberation Front (a domestic terrorist group) I just couldn't figure out for the life of me why these critical mass types aren't in jail, or Gitmo. Does Lance Armstrong really condone and support domestic terrorism? I thought he was a good guy?

It's getting to where going downtown for anything is just not a good, or safe, idea.

This "scary" sentiment was voiced by one of the officers last month when they were surrounded by concerned cyclists after knocking two fellow riders off their bikes in search of sacrificial goats with which to appease their masters. What I find ironic about the sentiment by the officer last month and the poster today is that the experience which scares them so much, that of being greatly outnumbered by people utilizing a form of transportation different from theirs, some of whom may act aggressively, is the EXACT same thing we experience outside Critical Mass, 29 days, 21 hours out of every month, give or take a few hours here or there for other various group rides. Even when we're riding half a dozen strong, our numbers are DWARFED by these giant, bullying vehicles who act like they own the road exclusively. The difference in the situations is when we wreak havoc on them maybe we leave a dent, a broken mirror, or if we get REALLY CRAZY, a deflated tire. When they wreak havoc (even accidentally), typically a cyclist is injured or killed. And to answer your last question, YES. *

* (Kidding!)

Um, wat? Besides the tired old rhetoric that cycling infers homosexuality, can anyone explain what this is about:

Wipe the cum off your chin and get back on your Schwinn
Date: 2009-09-26, 6:34PM CDT

Wipe the cum off your chin and get back on your Schwinn

Critical Mass isn't just about biking. It's about that queasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when some primping peacock smacks you on the ass and says let's roll bro.

Why do I think of American History X when I read this reply to a previous posting:

Re: re: Critical Mass (Viva La Lance?)
Date: 2009-09-26, 6:53PM CDT

I hope some of those cyclists who think they are so bad ass start some shit with me. I kick heads in for a fucking laugh, & I've got a group of steel-toed boot wearing friends that are the same way. It's not that I am anti- cycle, I have a bmx, dirtbikes, streetbikes... I am just anti-douchetards who think they are badasses in numbers. If they attack your car, fight back.

Wow dude. "I kick heads in for a fucking laugh." What a fucking tool.

Finally, also posted today was this gem of sarcasm, obviously from the other side of the fence:

CRITICAL GAS! (Austin)
Date: 2009-09-26, 6:35PM CDT

Alright everyone, you know what to do!!!

LETS BLOCK TRAFFIC!

Okay, the plan is to get into your car/truck/SUV and DRIVE during RUSH HOUR!!!

Monday - Friday
7am-9am
5pm-7pm

LETS BLOCK TRAFFIC YEA!!!!!

Remember, its okay to break traffic laws!!!

-speeding
-running red lights
-blocking intersections
-running stop signs
-changing lanes w/o signaling
-weaving in-and-out of traffic

Our GOAL is to make traffic as bad as possible!!!
And this can only be accomplished if EVERYONE drives at the exact same time, twice a day, five days a week!!!!

Looks to me like those rascally car drivers have got us beat at our own game...

Finally, someone responded to the first post, explaining what REALLY happened and why the cyclists were pissed. This aligns with what I heard on the ride:

Re: Criticle Mass Bikers...today (Barton Springs)
Date: 2009-09-26, 8:31PM CDT

I didn't see this particular incident, but from what I heard that guy who dented your car did it because YOU HAD JUST INTENTIONALLY HIT ONE OF THE CRITICAL MASS CYCLISTS WITH YOUR CAR, and then there was a lot of yelling and then he did that.

Doesn't make it right, but adding that one detail would have made your rant a little less one-sided.

(If all he did was dent your car, then it's likely you didn't actually hurt the other guy when you hit him. I guess it was a little love tap, a friendly little nudge to remind him that "he can ride over on that side, you're driving on this side?")

Assault and battery (with a deadly weapon?), followed by vandalism. Perhaps you two can share a cell?

Though one behavior doesn't excuse another, this paints a different picture than the one the driver shared, doesn't it? CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? Guess not always, but hey, lets try a little harder, 'k?

These Rants and Raves tiffs always crack me up. Keep your eyes peeled for more funnies.