Social Cycling Presents: Monday Heavy Metal Fitness Ride - TONIGHT!

Clif sent me an abbreviated version of the typical Heavy Metal Fitness Ride spiel, but if you've been on it before then you know what it's about. Here are the words and the flyer:

Ok, ok. It's fast, it's dark, it's urban, you'll get thirsty, you might get dropped, you might get lost, you might flat out, your mother would really want you to wear a helmet and you should, there's steep hills and dark descents, we'll go to the Jackalope, your bike will be stolen if you don't lock it, we'll drink free beer so bring your id, you best bring tip money, we'll listen to Ronnie James Dio, you'll probably be hungry so, oh, ok, half price pizza then. That good?

That's the Abridged Gospel of Fitness Ride, according to Clif. Here's the apocrypha:

Be on the bridge at 7pm, leave the bridge at 7:30pm. If you're not there by that time, expect to get left. Ride fast, ride hard, and if you get dropped go wait at the bar and enjoy the beer. Bring your fast bike and your game face.