Sunday morning FIXIE (or not) RIDE happens in 25 minutes.

Damn, I could have sworn I'd posted this one but it looks like I screwed up. You've got 20 minutes to make it down there.

CONFRONTING THE UGLY TRUTH

First, I gotta offer a sincere apology to Grant, who joined us last week on his third day after arriving in Austin from Chicago. Grant, it’s my responsibility to be sure that no one gets dropped, and last week I just wasn’t taking care of business. It didn’t seem like you were having any trouble hanging, so I guess you must have got caught by a light. Please come out again, so that I can apologize in person. I promise it won’t happen again.

I guess I must be Rawdax’s Jerry Springer. I’m the guy he loves to hate, so awful that he just can’t look away. Consider this recent missive.

“In your most recent ad you neglected to post the rest of the e-mail I sent you. You know, how I suggested other venues for your post. And by-the-way, the week your ad got flagged, I didn't even flag it...and I NEVER do because I don't care that much. There actually are others out there who flag you.

And I won't be joining your ride because I ride a bicycle for personal pleasure and getting where I need to go, not showing off my most recent bike project.”

Rawdax’s implication of journalistic dishonesty has already been addressed in an earlier post. Henceforth, I promise to quote in full any communications from him. I’m also gratified to see that he doesn’t flag our post because he doesn’t care that much. In fact, he doesn’t care so much that he continues to read the post every week. C’mon Rawdax, I know you’re reading this right now!

However, I’ve got to admit that we’re busted in the final line of his note. The guy has us figured out. We might as well just come out of the closet and admit it. We don’t really enjoy riding. We just do it to be chic and to show off our bikes.

So, for this week’s edition of the Sunday morning ride, I’d like to propose the Ride o’ Posers. Only riders who DO NOT actually enjoy cycling and who ride only to show off their bikes will be welcome on this ride. Naturally, we’ll have to disqualify certain people. Aaron1, who did the Tour das Hugel last Saturday, will not be allowed to participate this week, on the grounds that anyone who climbs 14,000 feet in one day doesn’t qualify as a poser. Jeff and Chelsea, who don’t own cars and ride their bikes everywhere, will clearly not be eligible for this week’s ride. (Since Jeff did the T de H also, he was already automatically cut from the ride, anyway.) David1, your Windsor won’t cut it as a show-off quality bike. You’re out. Anyone who regularly commutes to work via bike will not be welcome. Bryce, Mike, Aaron1, you’re out. (Wow. That’s two strikes on Aaron1.) Simon, you’ll have to pass on this one, since I’m gonna assume that anyone who takes a single gear bike on 70-mile solo rides where he won’t be seen by anyone he knows probably doesn’t qualify as a poser. David2, who is training for the Texas 4000 next spring, will not be allowed to join us on the grounds that anyone who undertakes to ride 4500 miles for charity has a distinctly unposer-like aura.

Wow, looks as if the field might be a bit thin this week. However, for those authentic posers who choose to join me, we’ll launch from Clown Dog at 10:20 on Sunday morning. Route TBD. Bring some ideas.

I can’t believe nobody’s bought my Guru! Despite the fact that their marketing is lame, this bike is a very sweet ride. Price is $900. Drop me a line if you’re interested.

Those of you who have ridden with us before know how we roll. For those who haven’t, please read the blah-blah below. It’s important. Really.

• Some of us are down with the fixed gear deal, but mostly we’re just about riding. Bring whatcha got and ride with us.

• Every cyclist is responsible for his or her own safety and well-being. We assume that everyone is familiar with basic rules of cycling safety and has enough hours in the saddle to feel comfortable with his or her ride. Use of helmets is optional (but highly recommended). Use of headphones, earbuds, Blue Tooth headsets or any other form of electronic distraction is discouraged. (It’s a SOCIAL ride, dammit!) All traffic laws and rules of right-of-way will be observed. Here’s the deal:

SAFETY FIRST!!!!!

If someone gets killed, it ruins the ride for everybody.

• This ride is 25-30 miles long through mostly urban and suburban areas. We do a convenience

store stop at about the halfway point for anyone who needs snacks or drinks.

• There is no SAG support on this ride. Bring a spare tube and something that will inflate it.

• The purpose of this ride is for everyone to have a good time and (we hope) to become better cyclists. We ride at a social pace, and all skill levels are welcome. This is a 25-30 mile ride over typical Central Texas terrain. If this is consistent with your riding experience, or is perhaps slightly more challenging than what you’re accustomed to, you should have no problem going the distance.

Hey, Rawdax, when ya gonna join us? It’s time to ride.

Get your ass and your bike to Clown Dog RIGHT NOW if you want to do this.