Sunday morning FIXIE (or not) RIDE: A paradox, a paradox, a most intriguing paradox...

This Sunday around 10am the Sunday Morning RIDE are meeting at Clown Dog for their regular pre-noon jaunt through the Austin street scape. In this week's edition of Harry's dramatic serial ride announcement, we learn a little more about Rawdax:

A PARADOX EXPLAINED

Of late I’ve been considering the paradox of Rawdax. Here’s a guy who I believe to be a person of considerable integrity and who is clearly passionate about his love of cycling. Why would such a person shamelessly dis a group of riders that he has never met and knows nothing about? It was puzzling to me.

We all have profound flashes of insight at some time in our lives. Those flashes have become, for me, less frequent as I grow older than they were in the days when I regularly ingested certain substances. Perhaps that makes them more valuable; at any rate, I’m certainly better able to remember later what they were about.

Then, a couple of nights ago, as I arose for my regular 3 AM trip to the bathroom (getting old really sucks), I had one of those insightful flashes. Its purity and logic was so obvious that I can’t believe it took so long to come to me.

Rawdax is in Bizarro World.

For those of you who followed the DC Comics of the early 60s, you know what I’m talking about. For those who didn’t, Bizarro World was the place where everything was backward, upside down and inside out. Bizarro World (a.k.a. planet Htrae – get it?) was the place where coal was priceless and diamonds were worthless, the place where lovers told each other, “I hate you.” The inhabitants of Htrae were solemnly pledged to do everything exactly opposite of their earthly counterparts.

Suddenly, Rawdax’s behavior becomes perfectly rational. When Rawdax says that we’re all douches, he really means that he admires us greatly. When he says that our ride sucks, he’s expressing his boundless esteem. In fact, Rawdax’s persistent denigration of our ride and our riders is certainly an expression of his desperate longing to join us, since the prevalence of square wheels on Htrae makes cycling impossible there. His repeated refusals to join our ride are his way of expressing his longing to ride with us. Alas, Rawdax is stuck in Bizarro World. The tragic irony is almost too much to bear.

Accordingly, this week’s edition of the Sunday morning ride will be the Ride o’ Rawdax, in honor of his futile but valiant effort to break free of the backwardness of his world. We’ll launch from Clown Dog at 10:20 on Sunday morning. Route TBD. Bring some ideas. Rawdax, you’ll be in our thoughts.

When is somebody gonna buy my bike?????? This pre-Merlot-sipping-raspberry-torte-eating Guru Flite is ultra clean and very sexy looking. Price is $900. Drop me a line if you’re interested.

Those of you who have ridden with us before know how we roll. For those who haven’t, please read the blah-blah below. It’s important. Really.

• Some of us are down with the fixed gear deal, but mostly we’re just about riding. Bring whatcha got and ride with us.

• Every cyclist is responsible for his or her own safety and well-being. We assume that everyone is familiar with basic rules of cycling safety and has enough hours in the saddle to feel comfortable with his or her ride. Use of helmets is optional (but highly recommended). Use of headphones, earbuds, Blue Tooth headsets or any other form of electronic distraction is discouraged. (It’s a SOCIAL ride, dammit!) All traffic laws and rules of right-of-way will be observed. Here’s the deal:

SAFETY FIRST!!!!!

If someone gets killed, it ruins the ride for everybody.

• This ride is 25-30 miles long through mostly urban and suburban areas. We do a convenience

store stop at about the halfway point for anyone who needs snacks or drinks.

• There is no SAG support on this ride. Bring a spare tube and something that will inflate it.

• The purpose of this ride is for everyone to have a good time and (we hope) to become better cyclists. We ride at a social pace, and all skill levels are welcome. This is a 25-30 mile ride over typical Central Texas terrain. If this is consistent with your riding experience, or is perhaps slightly more challenging than what you’re accustomed to, you should have no problem going the distance.

Rawdax, now we understand. Have courage. It’s time to ride.

As an old comic geek, I'm loving this backstory. Thanks for the heads-up Harry!