Sunday morning FIXIE (or not) RIDE: Euro(trash)-chic? Stylishly smug? You be the judge...

Harry, you rule:

OH, TO BE IN COPENHAGEN!

In a previous announcement, I touched briefly on the new status of the bicycle as a fashion accessory. I have only recently become aware to what extent that trend has progressed.

As I perused the bikes on Craigslist one morning recently, I found an item that piqued my interest. (http://austin.craigslist.org/bik/1492481081.html). In case this post has been deleted, it offered for sale (I think, though it may have been only the ecstatic musings of the bicycle’s owner) a “lovely Velorbis Dannebrog bicycle”. Although the text of the post waxed rhapsodic in a style suspiciously like advertising copy, I’m certain that the ad wasn’t posted by a commercial concern, since that would be a clear violation of CL rules. The ad featured illustrations of bicycles of the variety usually associated with immediately post-WWII western European cultures, Dutch and Scandinavian in particular.

Now, as a regular reader of BikeSnobNYC, I’m familiar with the fact that Scandinavian Cycling Culture is widely perceived by a small but vocal segment of our country’s population as possessing a sophistication, urbanity, chicness and, well, hipness to which our puny American culture may aspire but which we clearly will never attain. (Actually, BikeSnob has a different descriptive term for the character of that Scandinavian culture. He refers to it as “smugness”.) And surely, the crown jewel, the ne plus ultra, the Nirvana of Scandinavian cycling must be Copenhagen. In this veritable cycling paradise, so green is the populace and so socially conscious that they even light their Christmas trees with pedal power (http://news.cnet.com/8301-11128_3-10406025-54.html). So blissful is the state of cycling there that a blog has adopted the name of that city just to enshrine the brilliance of its perfection (http://www.copenhagenize.com/).

Clearly our vulgar, provincial American society can never hope to achieve this level of Nordic perfection. However, in the true spirit of American entrepreneurship, there are individuals bold and visionary enough to offer us the opportunity to purchase bicycles such as those ridden by the gods of western Europe. Or, at least, bicycles similar to those that were probably ridden by the gods’ ancestors at some point in the past 60 – 70 years. A quick Google of Velorbis turned up the company’s web site, which in turn directed me to the home page of their American distributor, Copenhagen Cyclery (http://www.copenhagenbike.com/). There I discovered a veritable cornucopia of cycling chic.

The most apparent aspect of Copenhagen Cyclery’s offerings was their uniformly unique appearance. Although some individuals with a poorly-developed aesthetic sensibility might characterize that appearance as “dowdy”, I imagine that “chicly utilitarian” would be the closer to the description favored by the folks at Copenhagen Cyclery. Typical of that look is the Batavus Fryslan Classic (http://www.copenhagenbike.com/bicycles/view-all/Batavus-Fryslan-Classic), which, according to the ad copy, “takes its cues from the past, designed after the original Batavus Opafiets or Grandpa Bicycles from 1904”. And who wouldn’t be delighted to ride a bicycle that was favored by Dutch grandfathers 100 years ago? After all, it has (again I quote from the ad copy) “European charisma”.

Unfortunately, that charisma apparently comes at a price. A rather hefty price at that. After browsing the dazzling array of makes and models available, I began to investigate the details, and sticker shock immediately set in. At the lower end, you can get into the afore-mentioned Fryslan Classic at a thrifty $950. (Are we talking American dollars here?) The Velorbis Dannebrog which appeared in the CL post goes for $1895.

Well, I reasoned, the prices of these beauties probably reflect extraordinary technological sophistication. Guess again. Frames are available in one or two sizes. One-piece cranks and chain rings, you know, like on the Sears bike you had when you were a kid. And in addition to plenty of charisma, these bikes offer plenty of poundage as well. I’ve piloted the 28-pound bulk of my vintage French steelie many a mile, so I figured I was familiar with heavy. Wrong. These units start at around 37 pounds, and I’m not talking about a bike that’s loaded for touring.

So to briefly review, we’re talking about bikes that are unattractive, expensive, heavy and technologically unadvanced. Wow. No wonder their popularity is sweeping the country.

Still, there is the charisma factor. If you’re ready to own a “cycle icon for design connoisseurs and bike collectors everywhere”, you can have the Velorbis Leikier, an item which looks like it would be right at home in David Byrne’s game room, at only $2995. (http://www.velorbis.com/classic-vintage-bicycle/velorbis-trike-and-custo...) Or if you’re more budget-minded, there’s the Scrap Deluxe Ladies (I’m not making this up – maybe it lost something in the translation) at a more modest $1220. (http://www.velorbis.com/classic-vintage-bicycle/classic-retro-ladies-bic... - Sorry, ladies, you’ll have to order out to the UK for this one – not available in the U.S. of A. Imagine the bonus points for additional charisma when you tell your friends.) I quote again from the copy on the Velorbis web site: “Stop the traffic in style with this urban icon - cool design and urban finish meets luxury leather accessories and blonde highlights in a medley of cycling style.” Holy smokes! The Dellionaires over in Tarrytown must be whizzing in their Crocs when they read this stuff.

As is probably apparent by now, my fashion sense lies somewhere between Atila the Hun and Ward Cleaver. When it comes to shopping for bikes, my taste is more toward the Craigslist end of the spectrum, where on any given day you can find any make or model of bike, for any purpose, at a price that’s affordable (or at least usually negotiable). As an example, consider this recent offering from CL. (http://austin.craigslist.org/bik/1513839553.html) Note that this bike takes its design cues from the uber-desirable Dutch/Danish style, while offering the additional incentives to the buyer of being RARE and priced at only 150 bones. Now, that’s style a person can afford.

So for this week’s edition of the Sunday morning ride, I encourage every rider to bring his or her most stylish bicycle. We’ll launch from Clown Dog at 10:20 on Sunday morning. Route TBD. Bring some ideas.

Those of you who have ridden with us before know how we roll. For those who haven’t, please read the blah-blah below. It’s important. Really.

• Some of us are down with the fixed gear deal, but mostly we’re just about riding. Bring whatcha got and ride with us.

• Every cyclist is responsible for his or her own safety and well-being. We assume that everyone is familiar with basic rules of cycling safety and has enough hours in the saddle to feel comfortable with his or her ride. Use of helmets is optional (but highly recommended). Use of headphones, earbuds, Blue Tooth headsets or any other form of electronic distraction is discouraged. (It’s a SOCIAL ride, dammit!) All traffic laws and rules of right-of-way will be observed. Here’s the deal:

SAFETY FIRST!!!!!

If someone gets killed, it ruins the ride for everybody.

• This ride is 25-30 miles long through mostly urban and suburban areas. We do a convenience

store stop at about the halfway point for anyone who needs snacks or drinks.

• There is no SAG support on this ride. Bring a spare tube and something that will inflate it.

• The purpose of this ride is for everyone to have a good time and (we hope) to become better cyclists. We ride at a variable pace, according to the group on any given ride, and all skill levels are welcome. This is a 25-30 mile ride over typical Central Texas terrain. If this is consistent with your riding experience, or is perhaps slightly more challenging than what you’re accustomed to, you should have no problem going the distance.

The streets of ATX aren’t yet aswarm with Copenhagen Cyclery’s Danish delights. We’re probably just displaying, as usual, our surfeit of stylishness, our paucity of panache, in short, our lack of hipness. Or maybe we just need a little time to catch up to the more fashionable folks.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna be watching Craigslist. The bikes there are a damn sight better looking. Not to mention a whole lot cheaper.

It’s time to ride.

Get down to Clowndog 'round 10ish, because this ride departs at 10:20am this Sunday morning. I haven't made it on one yet because I'm a horrible slacker, but I just got my cast off yesterday and I have a new road bike that I've been riding EVERYWHERE, who knows what might happen this weekend...