Oh look, a Tweed Ride. How droll.

Over the past couple months there has been talk about having a local Tweed ride since: a) the weather is finally cold enough in Texas, and b) pretty much EVERY other city on the US Hip Cities list has already done it, and as Texas' creative capital what better way to express our individuality than do exactly the same thing that everyone else has already done. Well fret no longer, we can now join the ranks of Dallas, Portland, LA, Chicago, NYC, San Francisco, Seattle, Oakland, DC, Philly, Sacremento, and a plethora of other cities around the US, nay, the ENTIRE WORLD and act like a bunch of proper British gentlefolk/cockney-slang spouting assholes while RIDING IN TWEED!!! Hooray! Finally, an excuse to dust off that 60lb path racer or english three-speed that's been rusting in the garage, raid grandpa's wardrobe, and style my facial hair in a garish and gravity-defying fashion.

So here it is folks, the Dapper Dan Dash/Shannon Tweed Ride:

The organizers have been using words like "cosplay" and "anthropomorphise", so expect at least one period-dressed furry in their ranks, and waaaaaaaaay too much really crappy looking steampunk shit. Awesome. They also seem fond of spelling words with extra 'u's and talking about strange customs like "gallantry" and "high-tea", so ALSO expect lots of fake British folk, rampant imperialism, oppression of the wog (which as everyone knows starts at Calais), faux nicety and whiskey disguised as tea. I really can't complain about that last but, but fuck all the rest.

Oh yes, and if tea and scones weren't enough to get you to come on the ride, think of the COMPETITION! Here are their categories, of which if you're really clever you may be able to compete in all of them:

* Most dapper chap
* Snappiest lass
* Most gallant behaviour
* Most stylish “steed”

The only rule I've seen on the page is NO LYCRA, so roadies, make sure you're wearing your kit UNDER a more ancient and chafe-inducing fabric. Let's just hope this ride doesn't take on Victorian social mores to go along with their other period affectations.