You are hereSunday Morning RIDE: Technical superiority > skill
Sunday Morning RIDE: Technical superiority > skill
Aw shit, Harry's back at it with a vengeance. His latest treatise is something I identify with wholly, and that's the ridiculousness of the pursuit of the cutting edge with regards to bikes. Whether it's going to 11 on your $5,000 road bike, riding a 7-lb fixed gear, or wearing attire designed to increase your circulation, this race for the lightest and techie-ist bike gear is kinda insane. As far as my case is concerned, I must face the fact that I'm incredibly hard on my shit and clock in at over two bills, so saving grams or weakening components to get tighter shifting jumps is just not in the cards. Never mind my curmudgeon ways, read on and if you want to get in on a ride with a bunch of cats that don't care what components you run, check this ride out:
AS USUAL, I JUST DON’T GET IT
I’m not the sharpest tack in the drawer. I’ll freely admit that there are a lot of times when I just don’t get it.
Consider, for example, the Academy Awards. I don’t get what’s so special about a bunch of rich Hollywood swells throwing a big party for themselves so that the whole world can see how beautiful and important they are. Does the self-perceived importance of this invented event really justify the relentless barrage of media pimpery that precedes it for weeks? Are the promoters (or even the participants, for that matter) aware that a vast portion of the world’s population doesn’t even watch motion pictures? But I digress.
In a recent rant I mentioned the fact that the Bicycling Magazine web site encouraged me to read reviews of items “you didn’t even know you wanted”. Since then I’ve noted a proliferation of retailers purveying a multitude of items I can’t imagine ever wanting. Maybe BM’s exhortation to acquire has sensitized me to the phenomenon, but I’m wondering if there are people out there who actually want to buy this stuff, or if anyone can even afford it. Perhaps, as is often the case, I’m just not getting it.
Lots of people ride Brooks saddles, and I know quite a few folks who swear by them. Most of the specimens I’m familiar with were obtained via CL, many as part of a “Brooks-with-a-bike-attached” deal. But are you ready for a $328 saddle? Velofred.com can accommodate you with the genuine Brooks B17 Titanium. The $239 premium for titanium rails (as compared to the standard B17 at $89) buys you a weight savings of a whopping 115 grams, sure to be significant in the context of your 60 pounds of fully-loaded touring bike. Be assured that this is a full-featured saddle, including loops for a “traditional English-style touring bag”, which is still manufactured by…who else? Brooks, of course. That worthy manufacturer offers a dizzying array of said item, all within a stone’s throw of a thrifty $100. (Remember, it’s “stylish”.) But if you’re a bit short on cash after popping more than three Cs for the saddle, you could opt for the more economical Carradice cotton duck saddle bag at a mere $60. Note also that the purchase of that item would afford you the ritual delight of regularly “reproofing”, i.e., massaging the bag with wax and then heating it with a hair dryer. Seriously. And if you opt for the cheaper bag, you might have enough shekels left for a genuine Brooks trouser strap for only $40. Yep, that’s right, only 40 bones for a leather strap, and it matches your saddle. Wait’ll the girls see you in this rig. I’m already brushing up my tweeds.
But maybe you’re more of a Serious Cyclist. If so, you probably already own a Serious Bicycle with an appropriately serious price tag. If you’re looking for a more subtle way to assert your seriousness, one that your equally-serious peers will appreciate, what better way than by attiring yourself in some expensive cycling clothes? Consider the Castelli Superleggera Vantage jersey, available for only $120 from SBRshop.com. The description informs us that the jersey utilizes SG0.6 fabric, which “absorbs virtually no moisture – sweat dries before it even enters the fabric.” We assume that the miracle fabric must exude some kind of mystical aura that causes sweat to simply evaporate in despair at the thought of attempting to permeate its impenetrable perimeter. Of course, you’ll want some appropriately serious shorts to complement your advanced technology jersey, and SBRshop.com has you covered there as well with the Assos FI Mille bib shorts with the new, improved S5 chamois. According to the ad copy, “Assos cycling shorts are not apparel, but equipment which enables you to free your mind, go further, longer and faster.” Holy smokes! No wonder they cost $260. If they’d make me look like the model on the web page, they might just be worth it. (http://www.sbrshop.com/bike/apparel/bottoms/cycle-bibshort/assos-men-s-s...) But nothing screams “really expensive” as subtly as a pair of high end cycling glasses. Once again, SBRshop.com to the rescue with Rudy Project’s Rydon specs. These glasses feature frames made of carbonium and temples made of Kynetium (a combination of magnesium, silicium and titanium). Apparently the copy-writer forgot to include the ingredient “expensium”, as reflected in the $255 price tag. DOH!!!!! Dammit! Out of stock! And I was just about to click on the “Add to Cart”!
We’ll be rolling from Clown Dog as usual at 10:20 this Sunday morning, and, as always, everyone is welcome, regardless of equipment or attire. Last week’s ride was well-attended in spite of the chilly weather (I contracted a mild case of frostbite on my fingertips.) This Sunday’s forecast is more moderate; looks like temperatures in the low to mid 40s by ride time. As usual, our route will be decided at the last minute.
Those of you who have ridden with us before know how we roll. For those who haven’t, please read the blah-blah below. It’s important. Really.
• Some of us are down with the fixed gear deal, but mostly we’re just about riding. Bring whatcha got and ride with us.
• Every cyclist is responsible for his or her own safety and well-being. We assume that everyone is familiar with basic rules of cycling safety and has enough hours in the saddle to feel comfortable with his or her ride. Use of helmets is optional (but highly recommended). Use of headphones, earbuds, Blue Tooth headsets or any other form of electronic distraction is discouraged. (It’s a SOCIAL ride, dammit!) All traffic laws and rules of right-of-way will be observed. Here’s the deal:
SAFETY FIRST!!!!!
If someone gets killed, it ruins the ride for everybody.
• This ride is 25-30 miles long through mostly urban and suburban areas. We do a convenience
store stop at about the halfway point for anyone who needs snacks or drinks.
• There is no SAG support on this ride. Bring a spare tube and something that will inflate it.
• The purpose of this ride is for everyone to have a good time and (we hope) to become better cyclists. We ride at a variable pace, according to the group on any given ride, and all skill levels are welcome. This is a 25-30 mile ride over typical Central Texas terrain. If this is consistent with your riding experience, or is perhaps slightly more challenging than what you’re accustomed to, you should have no problem going the distance.
There must be another whole level to this thing of spending lots of money on bicycle accessories that I just don’t get. Maybe being wealthy opens a person’s consciousness to a whole new galaxy of alternate realities. But my inescapably middle-class perspective tells me that buying this crap isn’t going to make me any faster, more stylish, or freer of mind. I guess the only way I’ll ever find out is if I get affluent enough to buy it. And that ain’t likely.
It’s time to ride.
Get down to Clown dog a little after 10, as these cats leave at 10:20AM. Damn I need to fix my pedal.