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Sunday Morning RIDE - It's hard out there for a hater.


By Jason - Posted on 25 March 2010

By Jason - Posted on 25 March 2010

03/28/2010 - 10:00am

Harry sent me the latest and greatest ride notice, and this one tackles an individual who will probably be known to all of you that read cycling newsgroups or forums, Mr. Tony Kornheiser himself. Read on for greatness:

ON CONTROVERSY

In case you were on another planet recently, here on earth all attention has been focused on a pathetic little weasel named Tony Kornheiser, who executed another of his increasingly embarrassing attempts to become recognized as the Howard Stern of sports radio. In the course of his daily blather, Tony initiated a carefully-orchestrated group rant that vilified cyclists by appealing to the same tired stereotypes we’ve all come to know and love (cyclists are arrogant, they eat granola, they wear shiny pants, etc). Way to go, Tony. I’ll bet the boys down at Hooter’s ate that up with a spoon.

I’ve always thought that Lance Armstrong was a pretty classy guy. Up until now. He responded to Kornheiser’s moronic needling with a blizzard of invective that ultimately got him an invitation to appear on the show. Kornheiser kissed Armstrong’s ass in a very public way. The show’s ratings are up. Everyone’s happy, right? This was such an obviously cynical exercise in self-promotion that I can’t believe someone as intelligent as Armstrong took the bait so readily. I’ve gotta score this one Kornheiser-1, Common Sense-0..

Do people really like to listen to this stuff? Maybe they just listen to it so that they can feel righteously indignant or smugly self-justified, depending upon their agreement/disagreement with the position of the reigning Oracle. Or maybe they listen to it because they don’t want to miss some culturally-significant pearl of outrageousness. Or maybe they listen to it because their lives really are just that boring.

There’s a way to make guys like Tony Kornheiser go away. Ignore them. Ask yourself this. What if no one had commented at all? What if the phones hadn’t rung and there were no hits to the web site? How long do you figure Tony would have a job?

But of course, that’s never gonna happen. The reason can be summed up in one word – fascism. That’s the perfectly normal human tendency to believe that everyone should do as I do, because my way is the right way. Fascism is what makes it possible for any douchebag to manufacture “controversy”. Guys like Tony depend on it for their notoriety. It’s what makes the Dittoheads say, “You tell ‘em, Rush!” It’s what made the Bicycle Crazies stomp their little feet when Tony Kornheiser ran his head. And until we let go of it, we’re nothing more than a bunch of ideological cheerleaders, shouting at each other. How productive is that?

We’ll be rolling from Clown Dog as usual at 10:20 this Sunday morning. Route TBD.

Those of you who have ridden with us before know how we roll. For those who haven’t, please read the blah-blah below. It’s important. Really.

• Some of us are down with the fixed gear deal, but mostly we’re just about riding. Bring whatcha got and ride with us.

• Every cyclist is responsible for his or her own safety and well-being. We assume that everyone is familiar with basic rules of cycling safety and has enough hours in the saddle to feel comfortable with his or her ride. Use of helmets is optional (but highly recommended). Use of headphones, earbuds, Blue Tooth headsets or any other form of electronic distraction is discouraged. (It’s a SOCIAL ride, dammit!) All traffic laws and rules of right-of-way will be observed. Here’s the deal:

SAFETY FIRST!!!!!

If someone gets killed, it ruins the ride for everybody.

• This ride is 25-30 miles long through mostly urban and suburban areas. We do a convenience store stop at about the halfway point for anyone who needs snacks or drinks.

• There is no SAG support on this ride. Bring a spare tube and something that will inflate it.

• The purpose of this ride is for everyone to have a good time and (we hope) to become better cyclists. We ride at a variable pace, according to the group on any given ride, and all skill levels are welcome. This is a 25-30 mile ride over typical Central Texas terrain. If this is consistent with your riding experience, or is perhaps slightly more challenging than what you’re accustomed to, you should have no problem going the distance.

Face it, folks. There ain’t much of substance in talk radio. If listening to jackasses like Tony Kornheiser (or Rush Limbaugh, or Al Franken, or whoever) is really that important to you, it might be time to get a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Or whatever.

It’s time to ride.

10am at Clown Dog, Sunday morning, every single week. The rants come and go, but the ride always soldiers on.



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