Social Cycling ATX presents: Monday Heavy Metal Fitness Ride - CRUISER CLASS! BIRTHDAY PARTY! AWESOME!

The Monday Heavy Metal ride goes off tonight like usual, except this time around there's going to be a "C" class, and the "C" stands for CRUISER! Check this out:

That's right folks, it's Frye's BIRTHDAY and he's celebrating with a fast cruiser ride, so get down there on your clunker and join him...

"You're Here Because
You're One Of Us
We Are The Strength
We Are Soldiers

You've Journeyed Far
You've Battled Hard
And Now You Will Receive The
Permanent Reward

You've Conquered Pain
You've Conquered Fear
Stand Proud And Salute
The Bloodied Flag Here

You've Pledged Your DETH and
Your Last Breath
You Are The Gears
You Are The Gears"

This week is a special week for the Metal Ride but first a bit of business..

It seems Jason of ATXBS was a bit disappointed in my choice of words in my last write up pointing out that "mere mortal" should never be uttered in the same sentence as DIO. I agree and apologize. Poor choice of words. I promise to never use the word "mere mortal" in the same company as "the man that gave us the metal salute", however, the real slight was that I used the words "mere mortal" to describe a class of super badass, fast motherfuckers that are merely a bit slower than Slayer class. Dio class will remain.

Jason. The Dethklok lyrics are for you.

Now for the shit...

This week we celebrate the 25th birthday of "A Fast Motherfucker Named Frye" with a new class of rider. Cruzer Class! Frye will lead the group himself aboard his 38 pound Schwinn Collegiate, fixed gear, three speed ,internal hubbed, heavy metal motherfuckin he-man of a bike and invites you to do the same. Texas cruzer; BMX, 20, 24, 26 inch; 29er; mountain bike, loaded touring... whatever. I'll be following Frye on my front be-basketed heavy ass touring rig. We'll stop plenty, walk up hills, drink a few beers and have a goddam good time.

If you want to ride the Metal Ride but aren't so sure of yourself this is a great time to come ride the course with us at a mellow pace and check it out.

Fast guys, carry on. We'll hit up the leaders that still want to ride Slayer and have a ride for ya'll too. We'll probably axe the DIO class for this week. Fast or Slow. Take your pick.

The usual bullshit with special emphasis on LIGHTS!!!!!!! follows.

WHERE AND WHEN:
Pfluger Pedestrian Bridge (next to Lamar Bridge). Meet at 7pm, make sure your bike is in good working order, shoot the shit with your fellow riders, stretch, smoke em if ya got em, then get ready to leave at 7:30pm SHARP!

WHAT:
Expect a reasonably fast pace, covering 20 – 25 miles on an urban route in the DARKNESS. We will be running two groups. SLAYER group for you fast folks and DIO class for the mere mortals.

After, it’s to the Jackalope (http://www.jackalopebar.com/) to enjoy free beer, HEAVY METAL music, half-priced pizza and happy hour ($2.00 wells) all damn night.

Ride what brung ya. Road, mountain, bmx, cruzer, fixie, whatever. Metal Fitness is an equal opportunity ride and not limited to roadies.

HOW:
Last time I heard, you’re mother won’t be attending, so you’ll need to bring water, LIGHTS!!! (cmon ya'll. I mean it's one thing to have shitty ass weak lights, which we'll scoff at and make fun of, but no lights???? That's just silly. Go get yourself a good light. It might keep you from running into the back of me in the Darkness. Seriously. ), tube changing necessities, a lock, your id and TIP MONEY if you’re drinking.

Most of us wear helmets as the ride is fast, urban and in the dark. Yes, it’s a Heavy Metal ride but we rather you didn’t bang your head. Remember. Head injuries slow rides. And you don’t want to slow down a Heavy Metal Fitness ride. Now do you?

ROAD RULES:
This is a fast ride, but still a Social Cycling ATX ride. STOP AT RED LIGHTS and always yield to cars who have the right of way.

ROUTE:
We'll take the traditional and original south route this week which I'll post later today in the comments section as soon as Bikely quits being so motherfucking buggy.

Haha, thanks for the mention Clif. 7:00pm on the bridge. Wear your fast outfit.