December Critical Mass Ride

Ho ho ho, merry... CRITICAL MASS! If you're like me, your Jeebusmas list is dominated (*whipcrack*) by bike parts and gear. That means if I'm lucky I'll be getting some slick new shit that I'll be wanting to show off, and hopefully you will too. Sooooo, what better opportunity to flaunt your new shiny stuff than at the monthly ATX Critical Mass ride! Due to maniacs like all of y'all, we've been seeing over 150-200 people show up for the rides over the past few months and there's no indication of things slowing down. Bring friends, bring family, hell, BRING PETS! There was a trailered dog on the last ride who looked like it was having a blast, so this ride isn't just for the two-legged variety.

If all goes according to plan I'll also be debuting Frankenstereo 2000 on the December ride to add to the general cacophony of the event. I'll be playing "holiday" themed music, but you know me so much of it will be from a holiday that has been repressed for about a thousand-odd years now. Show up and celebrate the insanity the best way you know how, ON A BIKE!

5pm on the UT West Mall in front of the Student Union is the time and place. Bikes, friends, costumes, noise makers, a light, some water and a good attitude are the things to bring. Riding your bike with hundreds of other kindred spirits all over the face of Austin for a couple hours is the thing to do. What else do you need to know?

P.S. I don't want to be Mr. Rules guy, but this one's a fun one because it breaks other "establishment" rules and helps your fellow cyclist at the same time...

CORKING THE INTERSECTIONS: If you don't know what it is, it's when the light starts to turn red while the mass is going through the intersection and instead of stopping and getting split up, a few of the leading bikers peel off to block the cross-flow of traffic so that the entirety of the mass can pass through the intersection safely, and nearly as importantly, TOGETHER. If you were on the last ride you may have seen how we got split into 3 groups at the beginning because people weren't corking. DO IT! It's fun, it lets you interact with the cars on a different level, and most importantly, you'll be a hero to your fellow bikers 'cause you're doing something selfless to keep our asses safe and together. Thanks y'all!

P.P.S. If a member of our esteemed law enforcement community is reading this, then today is opposite day and I'm NOT actually advocating corking, since it breaks the laws of society and interrupts the flow of motorized vehicle traffic. Yeah. That's right. Opposite day.