Heart all a-twitter? Take a tums.

If I EVER get a Twitter page, someone PLEASE put me out of my misery. I'll obviously be too far gone to have any hope of recovering some semblance of humanity. I just spent the last several minutes reading a couple bike related twitter pages, and my mind has been officially blown. Is this what we're doing with our time these days? Letting the entire world know what we ate for lunch while twittering about riding indoors? What's next Lance, a twitter about the "big as yo' face" crap you took after that big as yo' face burrito you ate yesterday? And over 12 thousand people subscribe to Lance's every movement (bowel or otherwise)? Here's a twitter of the last 10 or so minutes of my life. This is all the twittering you'll ever get out of me...

----------------------------------------------

About to claw my eyes out at the stupidity of everything Web 2.0 related, realizing I'm part of the problem, and now I'm somewhat depressed over the entire state of modern communication. Thanks twitter. Asshole. about 1 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Writing a bullshit entry over the lameness of twitter, then realizing the irony of my actions at this very moment. about 2 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Still reading through people's twitter pages, realizing that we live upon the cusp of the fall of Western Civilization as we know it, and am strangely comfortable with the idea. If this is the pinnacle of human achievement we might as well end it all here and now. about 3 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Laughing at the thought of what "The Twitter of Anne Frank" would look like... about 4 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Continuing to read twitter pages and following links about 6 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Laughing at the mundane bullshit these cycling bigwigs post about. I mean I'm getting paid to sit at a computer all day long jacking off with words, what's their excuse? about 8 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Following links and puzzling over why anyone, let alone celebrities would want to make stalking them so damn easy. about 9 minutes ago from web
----------------------------------------------
Read BikesnobNYC and found out about this whole "twitter" thing about 10 minutes ago from web

----------------------------------------------
P.S. If anyone uses the word "slay" (or any derivative) around me as a synonym for "ride", "do", "win", "play", or "exercise", I'm cranking up "Reign in Blood" and showing them the original meaning of the word. Fucking kids these days. No respect.