The wrapup to the craigslist bike thief ad debacle

Update: After talking to a couple people I respect about this shit I've decided to say fuck it. I won't post about this anymore, so as not to propagate what seems to be a whole lot of bullshit. I know what you're thinking, "Jason? Restraint? WHAT?!?", but yeah, this is it. Sometimes (ok, a lot of the time) I get it wrong. This seems to be one of those times. Normally it's no big deal, but this time some people seemed to take it personally, hence this OFFICIAL RETRACTION AND APOLOGY (tm)(c)(r):

James, if I caused you any problems I'm sorry. You seem to be an alright guy and a bike racer, so I can't see any reason that you'd want poison your own well and steal from the community. I posted the original craigslist ad because I try to post anything about local bike thieves that I come across, so that it gets a wider distribution. I tried to make it clear that I was unsure of the validity of the message, but like I said if someone took it seriously and it caused you headaches, I apologize.

Jack, I really don't care if you're an attorney. This site involves a healthy dose of parody, hearsay, rumor, and outright bullshit, don't take it so seriously. You're just sticking up for someone you don't know and I appreciate that, but I don't appreciate the legal threat or some of the wording. I said some pretty harsh things too (obviously), so you're in good company. No biggie, as you've seen I'm not the most restrained of individuals and have pretty thick skin, no harm no foul. It looks like you do a good deal of two wheeled riding yourself so you can't be too bad. You're included in that beer offer I made to James earlier, hit me up if you see me out and I'll buy the first round.

And whoever you are, anonymous craigslist poster, in the words of Desi "You'sa got some esplainin' to do!" I emailed you, lets see if you write back. If not I think we can safely say you're full of shit and a coward to boot. Wat.

If you really want to read my long rant-y response to the incensing email I received, go crazy...

Original Title: Oh shit, you're an ATTORNEY?!? I guess I better do what you say...

Yesterday I posted an unsubstantiated story about a possible bike thief, which was in essence a re-post of something that was posted to craigslist earlier that morning. The original craigslist ad was flagged, but as it goes with the internet, once it's out of the bag it's immortal. The truthfulness of the original ad was questioned, and after James himself as well as 2 friends wrote me, I amended the post. I guess I should have actually read what his everyone had to say to me rather than just skimming/ignoring the content of their emails and then writing my update, because in one of the letters they threaten me with legal action. No really, check it out:

From: Jack [jackwindinhair@gmail.com]
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 3:29 PM
To: holla@atxbs.com
Subject: known bike thief

Jason,

Couldn't help noticing the "known bike thief" posting.
I think it's irresponsible of you to continue malicious and damaging rumors w/o more. I don't know the guy (James), but if the person posting it had any proof, the he would be in jail. If the poster had even a good reason but no proof, why post anonymously? He could tell his story. Give opportunity for defense, etc... (you know, a fair trial). Certainly takes away from the credibility of the thing, doesn't it. Meanwhile you, who have absolutely no clue about any of it (as you stated), decided to multiply the bullshit and perhaps help screw up this guy's life further where he is otherwise innocent (in THIS country). I also believe they have an actionable lawsuit against you for reckless / libelous publication, etc.. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment.

Sincerely,
Jack Armstrong
Cyclist; Attorney

Ok, first off, no one's EVER accused either me or this website of being responsible. I defy any one of you to say otherwise!

Secondly, that's probably not the best way to make someone like me comply with your request; by presenting yourself as an "Attorney" and then including a REALLY CRAPPILY WORDED legal threat in your email. Sorry dude, if you hadn't used the gmail address jackwindinhair@gmail.com I might have believed you, but as it is I only listen to attorneys who own their own domain names. So basically what I'm saying is, HAHAHAHAHA NEENER NEENER. Attorneys. Legal stuff. Laws. lol

So basically if you want to see what the whole flap was about, just follow this link. If anyone else (specifically members of the legal trade) wants to send me funny emails, I'd be more than happy to post your message with a link to the original story, so that everyone else can see why I posted it in the first place...

And to think all this happened because of James' awesome expression. Honestly at this point I don't even care about the thief bit of the story. The threatening emails are WAY more entertaining, and that's what it's all about: ENTERTAINMENT!

P.S. It might do everyone who's butthurt over this situation a bit of good to read the "Bottom Line" portion of my About Us statement. Then follow the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Joel Schumacher's superhero masterpiece and "CHILL OUT!"

Followup: Even though I didn't bother to check my facts for the original story, I SURE AS HELL checked into this Jack Armstrong's status as an attorney. All I can assume is that he's an attorney in ANOTHER STATE, as his name (or any permutation thereof) doesn't actually show up in the State Bar of Texas directory. Nice try, Jack!

Turns out he is a lawyer. Nice!