So what's there to do in Portland?

Tomorrow bright and early my wife and I are flying to Portland, Oregon to get our Christmas on with my parents and 6 of my 8 brothers and sisters. Yes, my upbringing was one of those weird ones you only hear about in wacky religious exposé documentaries. While we're there we're going to be staying downtown at the Hotel Fifty for two nights, Friday and Saturday to be specific. Besides Critical Mass on Friday, what's there to do in Portland? I really don't know much about the town besides the fact that it's green, wet, there are good drugs to be had, and it's where cyclists go when they die if they've been good and didn't steal another cyclists bike during their time on earth. If you know about something INCREDIBLE that we absolutely must check out while we're there, let me know about it.

I'll still be checking my email and all that, so if you're throwing a bike event in my absence let me know and I'll post it on the site. Austin Texas bike shit's never far from my heart so I'm sure I'll still be a nuisance on the forums and blogs, at least as much as I can be from faraway Portland. See y'all in a week (almost exactly)!