Further tales in the James Clayton SAGA!

Earlier this morning my wife pointed me to a new James Clayton story running on the front page of the Austin-American Statesman. This one was authored by Andrea Ball and Katie Petroski, and does a much better job of covering the events leading up to the arrest than the previous Statesman article. The new article also delves into the James Clayton super-villain origin story a little more than I have to-date, specifically the following line, which I've known about but haven't mentioned since it seemed to incredulous to even consider:

"According to the Arizona victims, Clayton claimed he had been a professional cyclist but could no longer compete because his heart had been punctured by a handlebar during a ride, Gallauer (an Arizona detective) said.

Gallauer is convinced that wasn't true — but that there's one surefire way to confirm it. "Find him, take his shirt off and see if there's a hole where his heart belongs," he said."

Do y'all see why I consider the heart attack story with some skepticism now, and why I consider this fella a(n alleged) bicycle super-villain? When the cops told me about this tale of woe last month I envisioned a man driven insane by the loss of what he loved the most, BICYCLE RACING! In a strange twist of irony the thing that robbed this man of his beloved was the very object of his desire, the handlebars of a BICYCLE! This grievous injury was the final push that sent him over the edge of sanity and into a career of bicycle villainy! In his rage he vowed to wreak vengeance on the very people who had once considered him one of their own, his fellow bicycle racers. Using his advanced knowledge of the sport and its' participants, plus a dazzling array of specialized tools (and a snappy utility belt, I'm sure) this master villain was able to pull off some of the most ambitious capers in the history of bicycle thieving over a career spanning more than a decade...

...and he would still be at it, that is if bicycle super-hero Val Hargrove hadn't caught wind of this evil scheme and gone about setting things right and restoring order in the Austin bicycling scene. Way to go Val, you're a true asset to your community!

At least that's how I imagined it in my mind. Glad to hear I'm getting some validation of my hair-brained theory from the "real" media. Thanks y'all!

Also:

The police are trying to restore the stolen bikes, frames, and components to their rightful owners. Detective Scott Askew specifically wanted me to ask that if anyone has had a bike stolen matching either of the following descriptions to please contact him ASAP:

Fuji Crosspro 58cm Aluminum Cyclocross frame/fork/headset '09 - White and red

Trek 8500 Mountain bike frame - black and red

His number is 512-974-5978 and if you don't reach him just leave a message, he's killer at calling back.